I've always wanted to be a mother.
At 17 I was surprised to find out I was pregnant and momentarily devastated... this wasn't how I envisioned becoming a mother. I knew I couldn't be physically and spiritually 'there' for my child and felt lost and confused about what to do. I knew the young man who fathered my child wasn't the right father and I knew that I was not yet ready to be a mother - I was needed to accomplish more for myself and my future children before bringing my children into the world.
With this knowledge I entered into an internal communication with my unborn child. I shared with them my sincere apologies for not being ready at this point in my life. I explained why and gave this child a vision of when I thought they should be born; when their mother would be better prepared to raise them with the respect and environment they deserve. With all the energy in my heart I told them that I wasn't going to bring them forth, yet, but hoped that if they felt it was right for them, that they would wait to be my child in the future.
For 10 years I have held a special bond with this spirit baby... it wasn't until 5 years after my first pregnancy that I learned about others who had communication with spirit babies and that this is a 'real thing'. I had never shared my spirit baby bond with anyone until I discovered that I was not alone.
Then I began a journey into understanding this realm of spirituality. I learned about pre-birth communication. About prenatal and perinatal psychology. Healing wounds from our own birth and how to welcome a spiritual connection with those souls who wish to be born.
Now, 10 years later, I am more than ready to be a mother and I have found the spirit, encased in my husband, that was meant to be their father. We have both prepared ourselves in many ways for parenthood and we have agreed we are ready to nurture, respect, and love a child.
I am one who follows where my heart and gut lead me. Often, I feel as though there is a energy leading me to new discoveries; discoveries which happen to be so perfectly timed that it could be nothing other than divine energetic connection leading me.
We had been TTC (trying to conceive) for just a few weeks and I tried to free myself of the sometimes manic feelings of getting pregnant. I recognized that my physical experiences and highly intellectual reasoning isn't what my spirit baby needs to make a connection ~ rather, they need my spiritual presence and an open and peaceful, loving energy to enfold them into be-ing.
It just so perfectly happened that around the time we were TTC, I came across an article about reincarnation. An amazing story about a boy who remembered so much and shocking details proving he was who he said he was, from a recent and previous life. I was so moved. I felt, again, as though I was being guided by an energy and I willingly followed.
I found a book about reincarnation and read page after page with such excitement. I shared what I was reading with my husband and we had avid discussions about the possibilities. We talked about how we will be open to listening to our child and believing in what they may say. I began to feel open to the idea that my child had a previous existence and will continue to exist after their physical time on this earth.
Then, a few weeks later, I had a dream. In this dream there were no spoken words, but so much was communicated through unspoken means. It was as though the entire conversation happened telepathically.
There was the energy of a child, myself, and what felt like a being greater than both of us. We all felt loved and cherished, bathed in energetic light. There was the feeling of many energies observing us from afar, but all that could be truly seen was the three of us up close.
It felt as though we entered into a contract. That the greater soul was over-seeing the agreement between the spirit child and myself. I remember peace, joy, and a great sense of welcomed responsibility.
I am ready to be your mother, spirit baby. I respect your past and I will guide you and stand by you in the present. I acknowledge that you have experiences to share with me, lessons to teach me, and a path of your own that you must discover. I will be here loving you every step of the way!
Blessed be, Spirit Baby!
~Your humble mother, Wisdom and Birth
*we became pregnant with our cherished baby about two months after this dream :)